Mad Cows
UK 1999
Reviewed by Charlotte O'Sullivan
Synopsis
Our synopses give away the plot in full, including surprise twists.
Maddy, a plucky Australian woman, lives in London with her baby Jack. Jack's father - spoilt aristocrat Alex - won't have anything to do with them. After a series of mischances she ends up in prison, where psychologist Dwina Phelps tricks her into signing papers so a childless couple, Pru and Sidney, can adopt Jack. Since Alex, now pursuing a political career, won't help, Maddy is forced to call on the gold-digging Gillian, her one friend in England. Maddy persuades Gillian to smuggle Jack out of prison and soon afterwards Maddy herself escapes, disguised as Phelps. She then visits Alex and finds herself smitten once more. But Alex plans to go ahead with his engagement to a rich girl. When Maddy realises this, she exposes his treachery to a group of his friends, including his mother.
Meanwhile, Gillian has created a domestic idyll for herself and Jack in Docklands. Phelps and the couple track down Alex, who agrees to help them. Having rejoined Gillian, Maddy takes Jack to the park. There, Alex distracts Maddy while the trio kidnap Jack. Gillian rescues Jack by going to the couple's house and pretending to be a child-care expert. With the help of Alex's mother, Maddy and Jack set sail back to Australia.
Review
Mad Cows, an adaptation of Kathy Lette's novel, is full of 'wacky' characters desperate to beguile us with idiosyncratic one-liners or caddish charm. In fact, its only genuinely strange figures are the childless couple who are panting to adopt photogenic baby Jack, the protagonist Maddy's son. Yet they're considered so unimportant they don't even warrant names in the production notes' synopsis. This couple are obsessed with children but their pre-planned baby room is a hymn to the banally macabre. In a film full of bubble-gum colours, this is the one site of impenetrable shadows, occupied by a prosthetic, creepy-looking baby whose care is dictated by a computer. Over-indulgent and dysfunctional, the couple worship their computer but on hearing good news about flesh-and-blood baby Jack they allow the plastic baby to fall from its changing table on to the floor. The word "fatal" flashes on the computer screen, along with an image of the falling baby. When the mother-to-be is alerted to this 'death' she shrugs her shoulders with indifference. But the camera - as if mesmerised - returns to it again and again. This is Sugarman's haunting emphasis, not Lette's. Perhaps this is a comment on the film itself.
Until now, Sugarman has been noted for short, darkly surreal films such as Valley Girls and Anthrakitis to which Mad Cows bears a certain family resemblance. But every time things speed up or down, or the camera lurches on to its side or zooms sickeningly in and out, we're reminded that this is a two-dimensional creation. Even Anna Friel looks peculiar. Famous for her flat-chested childishness, she has obviously enhanced bosoms. Sugarman clearly likes toying with notions of the artificial. But what has she taken on here?
In being faithful to Lette's novel, Sugarman must remain true to the most conventional of narratives. And in sticking closely to the swinging-London formula - complete with upbeat pop music, endless celebrity cameos and pretty shots of the city - she must remain true to the most conventional of forms. Thus Mad Cows ends up seeming closer to such awful recent Brit flicks as Bring Me the Head of Mavis Davis and Martha - Meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence than to Sugarman's previous work. Shorts are often seen as a practice run for feature films. In rushing to make a normal, proper film - going for the 'real' baby, not the creepy-looking substitute - Sugarman has indeed committed a little murder. The childless couple end up with nothing. It remains to be seen whether Sugarman herself can pick up the pieces.
Credits
- Producers
- Frank Mannion
- Aaron Simpson
- Screenplay
- Sasha Hails
- Sara Sugarman
- Based on the novel by Kathy Lette
- Director of Photography
- Pierre Aïm
- Editor
- John Jympson
- Production Designer
- Joseph Nemec III
- Music
- Mark Thomas
- ©Flashlight (Mad Cows) Limited
- Production Companies
- Newmarket Capital Group, Capitol Films and Entertainment Film Distributors present a Flashlight production
- Executive Producers
- Sharon Harel
- Jane Barclay
- Chris J. Ball
- William Tyrer
- Co-producer
- Liz Bunton
- Associate Producers
- Sara Giles
- Tom Pridmore
- Flashlight Films
- Neda Jahanbani
- Anji Oliver
- Atlanta O'Shei
- Loretta Greenhalgh
- Seta White
- Oliver Parker
- Production Co-ordinator
- Ruta Ozols
- Location Manager
- Pat Karam
- Assistant Directors
- Francesco Reidy
- Giles Butler
- Jules Powell
- Script Supervisor
- Marissa Cowell
- Casting Director
- Danielle Roffe
- Camera Operator
- Georges Diane
- Animated Computer Baby Graphics Design
- Bionic Digital
- High Resolution Video to Film Services
- Cinesite Digital Studios
- Fido Operator:
- Debbi Smith
- Fido Senior Operator:
- Aleks Ugarow
- Fido Producer:
- Claire McGrane
- Art Director
- David Lee
- Set Decorator
- Jille Azis
- Storyboard Artist
- Flora Daneman
- Costume Designer
- Trisha Biggar
- Wardrobe Supervisor
- Ann Maskrey
- Chief Make-up Artist
- Amanda Knight
- Chief Hairdresser
- Francesca Crowder
- Titles
- Frameline
- Designer:
- Roger Phillips
- Flint Compositor:
- Andrew White
- Producer:
- Nick Comley
- Opticals
- General Screen Enterprises
- Music Performed by The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
Orchestra Supervisor - Stephen Kear
- Music Supervisors
- Tom Parkinson
- Rupert Lord
- Tim Binns
- New State Entertainment
- Music Editor
- Craig Dormer
- Henry's Sound Studios
- Score Recording Engineer/Mixer
- Paul Golding
- Soundtrack
- "I Can Help" by/performed by Billy Swan; "So Young" by James Corr, Andrea Corr, Sharon Corr, Caroline Corr, performed by The Corrs; "Je t'aime moi non plus" by Serge Gainsbourg, performed by Jane Birkin, Serge Gainsbourg; "Rude Boy Rock" by Justin Robertson, performed by Lionrock; "Lazy Bones" by Johnny Mercer, Hoagy Carmichael, performed by Juan García Esquivel; "On Days Like Yours" by Ben Parker, Jason Hazeley, performed by Ben & Jason; "Brimful of Asha (Norman Cook Remix)" by Tjinder Singh, performed by Cornershop; "Locked Up" by Rick Hudson, performed by Blair; "Countdown at 6" by Jean Jaques Perrey, Gershon Kingsley, performed by Perrey & Kingsley; "Teddy Bears Picnic" by John Braton, Jimmy Kennedy, performed by Dave Wall; "Scramble" by Marcus Oliver, performed by New Kingdom; "Left Bank Two" by W. Hill, performed by The Noveltones; "Heaven from Here" by Robbie Williams, Guy Chambers, performed by Robbie Williams; "If Everybody Looked the Same" by Cato, Eugene Record, Yancey, Finlay, Muhammed, Sareed, Taylor, performed by Groove Armada, contains a sample of "1nce Again" (The Twister Mix)" performed by Tribe Called Quest vs Aphrodite, contains a sample of "We Are Neighbors" performed by The Chi-Lites; "A Girl Like You" by/performed by Edwyn Collins; "He's the Greatest Dancer" by Nile Rodgers, Bernard Edwards, performed by Sister Sledge; "Joy" by Cliff Jones, Nick Crowe, Nigel Hoyle, James Risebero, performed by Gay Dad; "Clean Up Woman" by Willie Clarke, Clarence Reid, performed by Betty Wright; "She's a Lady" by Paul Anka, performed by Tom Jones; "Female of the Species" by Thomas Scott, James Edwards, Andrew Parle, Francis Griffiths, performed by Space; "Good Times" by Nile Rodgers, Bernard Edwards, performed by Chic; "Bang On!" by Alex Gifford, performed by
Propellerheads; "Bring Him Back" by Doc Pomus, Mort Shuman, performed by Dusty Springfield; "Sailing" by Gavin Sutherland, performed by Rod Stewart; "Big Mistake" by Natalie Imbruglia, Mark Goldenberg, performed by Natalie Imbruglia; "My Favourite Game" by Peter Svensson, Nina Persson, performed by The Cardigans; "Say It Once" by Jon O'Mahony, James Rose, James Hearn, Michael Harwood, performed by Ultra - Sound Recordist
- Ian Voigt
- Re-recording Mixer
- Alan Snelling
- Supervising Sound Editor
- Colin Chapman
- Dialogue Editor
- Brigitte Arnold
- ADR
- Loop Group:
- Breffni McKenna
- John Bull
- Tim Block
- Julia Brahms
- Nicolette McKenzie
- Alison Dowling
- Mixer:
- Alan Snelling
- Editors:
- Jamie McPhee
- Peter Holt
- Foley
- Walkers:
- Jenny Lee-Wright
- Pauline Griffiths
- Mixer:
- Ken Somerville
- Stunt Co-ordinators
- Marc Boyle
- Paul Weston
- Cast
- Anna Friel
- Maddy
- Joanna Lumley
- Gillian
- Anna Massey
- Dwina Phelps
- Phyllida Law
- Lady Drake
- Greg Wise
- Alex
- John Standing
- Johnny Vaguelawn
- Nicholas Woodeson
- Detective Slynne
- Judy Cornwell
- Maddy's mother
- Prunella Scales
- Dr Minny Stinkler
- Geoffrey Robertson QC
- man on Clapham omnibus
- David Ryall
- man outside Harrods
- Mohamed Al-Fayed
- Harrods doorman
Meg Mathews- Harrods shopper
- Rustie Lee
- Mama Joy
- Badi Uzzaman
- Indian shopkeeper
- Neil Stuke
- desk sergeant
- Eddie Marsan
- young constable
- Hermione Noris
- Petronella
- Wendy Phillips
- prison warden
- Patricia Devine
- nun in prison
- Jodie Kidd
- Tracey
- Susie Bick
- Sputnick
- Sophie Dahl
- prisoner
- Elizabeth Berrington
- Pru
- Shannah Laumeister
- group leader
- Danny Cerqueira
- Sidney
- Paul O'Boyle
- P.C.
- Kathy Lette
- browser in Mothercare
- Julius Robertson
- boy in Mothercare
- Ruth Lass
- Mothercare assistant
- Donald Birrane
- hotel receptionist
- Amerjit Deu
- Indian man
- Sophie Okonedo
- Rosy
- Rohan McCullough
- Annabel Crump
- Pearse Elliott
- Belfast man
- Johnny Gold
- party doorman
- Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
- celebrity
- Howard Jones
- disck jockey
- Neville Phillips
- president of Soil Society
- Corinne Martin
- cleaning maid
- John Wood
- Alistair
- Omid Djalili
- George, Greek boyfriend
- Samuel Hart-Woods
- George Hart-Woods
- James Hart-Woods
- Jack
- Certificate
- 15
- Distributor
- Entertainment Film Distributors Ltd
- 8,152 feet
- 90 minutes 35 seconds
- Dolby digital
- In Colour