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UK/France 2000
Reviewed by Jim White
Our synopses give away the plot in full, including surprise twists.
Manchester, the present. A pupil at Greenock High School, Jimmy Grimble is the substitute on the school's football team, whose star player Gordon 'Gorgeous' Burley bullies him. Burley's father Ken promises that he will pay for the school's sports hall if the team, coached by disillusioned PE teacher Eric Wirral, makes it to the final of the Manchester Schools' Cup. On his way home, Jimmy is chased by Gordon and hides in a derelict house. There, an old woman gives him a pair of football boots. Jimmy later throws them into a skip.
On the day of the first Schools' Cup match, Gordon chucks Jimmy's usual boots into a passing refuse truck. Jimmy retrieves the gift boots from the skip. Playing against Wreckingham, Gordon is injured; sent on in the last minutes, Jimmy scores the winning goal. Believing his boots to be magic, Jimmy plays a key role in his school team's reaching the cup final. He strikes up a friendship with new girl Sara, boosts former Manchester City player Eric's confidence and attracts the attention of a Manchester United football scout. On the day of the cup final (played at City's grounds), Jimmy discovers the old lady dead. Gordon dumps Jimmy's 'magic' boots into a nearby canal, causing Jimmy to lose confidence on the pitch. At half-time, Harry, the ex-lover of Jimmy's mum Donna, convinces Jimmy that his boots weren't magical. Playing better in the second half, Jimmy sets up the winning goal. Having split with her thieving fiancé Two Dogs, Donna gets back together with Harry; Jimmy accepts a place on City's youth programme.
"It's not working, is it?" says Ray Winstone towards the end of There's Only One Jimmy Grimble, his Manchester accent as authentic as a seven-pound note. As a critical summary of the film, his observation cannot be bettered. Jimmy Grimble is a film about football, but the central fault that dogs all football movies - actors don't have footballers' legs and footballers can't act - is not the issue here. The actual match sequences are the freshest aspects of the film. Eschewing realism, director John Hay (The Steal) allows the progression of Jimmy Grimble (a fine performance by Lewis McKenzie) from useless spod to schoolboy champion to be mapped in a series of imaginatively shot set pieces. Whether it's Jimmy on his own as 20 yobs charge towards him in menacing slow motion, or Jimmy waltzing through a forest of chopping legs shot from a camera spinning lace high above the turf, it works.
The problem is with the rest of the film, those minor incidentals such as character, plot and dialogue. The reason movies about sport rarely match the real thing is that sport, this side of a Mike Tyson fight, is utterly unpredictable. When making movies about sport, film directors, however, tend to resort to well-worn plots which rarely leave you guessing over the outcome of their competing heroes. In Jimmy Grimble, for instance, we are never left in doubt as to the result of the matches on the pitch and off it: as Jimmy's team marches on to the Manchester Schools' Cup, we just know boy will get girl, mum will get boyfriend and bully will get come-uppance. Plus, in the inevitable afterglow of last-minute triumph, cynical coach will rediscover joy, jaded headmaster will find his long buried pride and Nike will get full value from their product-placement contract.
The obviousness of the plot might not be so bad had the humour been a little more lively. But the dialogue is as laboured and one-dimensional as the characterisation; the observations on life trite and leaden: "If the magic's not in my boots," concludes Jimmy at the end with all apparent seriousness, "it must be in my feet." Moreover, sparse and intermittent as they are, the jokes arrive with all the subtlety and unexpectedness of a riot involving England supporters. As soon as Two Dogs, Jimmy's mum's admirer and incompetent would-be martial-arts fiend, starts playing with his kung fu chain in front of the mirror, for instance, you just know he's going to lose control and spatchcock his nipples.
No wonder the big names attracted to the film, presumably in the belief it might prove the new Gregory's Girl, do their best to disappear. Ray Winstone and Robert Carlyle give performances so understated it is almost as if they're trying to disassociate themselves from the enterprise as they go along. At least Carlyle, as Jimmy's disillusioned coach, sounds like a local as the camera follows him through the vivid urban landscape of Manchester. Winstone, as the ex-boyfriend Jimmy wants his mum to get back together with, appears to think a Mancunian accent can be achieved by grumbling into his chest, his voice so deep in Lee Marvin territory, he must have needed an aqualung to get down there. It is not working indeed.