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USA/Germany 1999
Reviewed by Kevin Maher
Our synopses give away the plot in full, including surprise twists.
At a Manhattan market Amanda Shelton is given a free basket of crabs. Afterwards she meets businessman Tom Bartlett who is presently overseeing the opening of a new restaurant at Bendel's department store. Amanda goes back to the ailing Southern Cross restaurant in SoHo where she works as a chef. Tom and his girlfriend arrive there later for a meal. One of Amanda's crabs has supernatural powers and confers magical cooking skills upon her. Deeply affected by the meal, Tom's girlfriend breaks several plates and storms out. Impressed with the food, Tom offers to buy Amanda some new plates.
News of Amanda's cooking spreads, and business booms at the Southern Cross. Late at night, after eating one of her desserts, Tom and Amanda kiss and then float up to the ceiling. Scared, Tom accuses Amanda of witchcraft and leaves. Tom's boss tastes Amanda's cooking and hires her for Bendel's opening night. Her cooking on the night is a huge success, but Tom still refuses to talk to her. He sees her leaving the restaurant and calls her back. They reconcile their differences and rejoin the party.
A debut effort from writer Judith Roberts and director Mark Tarlov (producer of Pecker), Simply Irresistible is a befuddled attempt at producing a star vehicle for Sarah Michelle Gellar (television's Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Here a plot with obvious Pretty Woman overtones has incorporated moments from recent food-obsessed films such as Big Night and Tampopo to create a flat romantic comedy that's shockingly free of narrative momentum.
Everything in Simply Irresistible is telegraphed and writ large. Gellar's Amanda is an average chef who needs to move on to greater things, while Tom is a successful businessman who predictably just happens to have a new restaurant on his hands. That's the blunt set-up, and the rest of the film procrastinates until Amanda finally hooks Tom and his restaurant. During this time, rather than show Amanda's gradually improving cooking skills, Simply Irresistible makes a fatal error by introducing the concept of the skill-bestowing magic crab.
A lazy contrivance, the crab punctures the film full of plot holes: because Amanda's improved cooking skills are exclusively derived from this magic crab, technically she's still an average cook throughout the film, and the Cinderella-style resolution - where she lays on the wildly successful spread for the Bendel's opening do - rings false. Amanda apparently doesn't know that the crab is responsible for her new-found culinary confidence, but then she refuses to kill it, commenting obliquely, "I just don't think he's your normal crab!" There are no rules for the crab's magic either - after eating, Tom's girlfriend explodes with uncontrollable rage and Tom and Amanda float up to the ceiling, while most customers simply groan in ecstasy.
These moments recall the gustatory orgasms of Alfonso Arau's Like Water for Chocolate, but Simply Irresistible suffers badly in comparison, the ethnicity and magical realism of the former replaced by the latter's Waspish ascendancy and crass fantasy. Simply Irresistible adheres rigidly to classic dialogue-led conventions, apart from one formal flourish - Amanda's musical flashback to her romantic moments with Tom - which is embarrassingly weak. The lack of ambient sound in the Southern Cross restaurant scenes is particularly jarring, especially since we often cut to them from a noisy Manhattan exterior, giving the film the artificial air that surrounds such studio-shot sitcoms as Friends.
Notable performers are wasted in the midst of all this. Patricia Clarkson and Dylan Baker, who gave such eviscerating turns in, respectively, High Art and Happiness, are barely stretched in supporting roles. And though this is Gellar's star vehicle, she must struggle through such banal lines as "My whole life was ordinary, and then we met and these amazing things started to happen!" The fact that she has to play a character who's little more than a crab's talentless stooge, who looks pretty in a Todd Oldham gown and can't wait to be swept off her feet by a millionaire playboy makes you wonder what attracted her to the role in the first place and only adds to the misjudged tone of Simply Irresistible.