The Big Tease

USA/UK 1999

Reviewed by Edward Lawrenson

Synopsis

Our synopses give away the plot in full, including surprise twists.

Glasgow, the present. Hairdresser Crawford Mackenzie - the subject of film-maker Martin Samuels' latest fly-on-the-wall documentary - receives an invitation to the World Freestyle Hairdressing Championship in Los Angeles. Assuming he has been invited to compete, he flies over only to discover he's only been invited as a spectator.

Still determined to compete in the tournament, Crawford must become a member of the Hairdressers of America Guild in order to qualify. Crawford fails to get a job in hair-stylist Stig Ludwigssen's Beverly Hills salon. However, Hollywood agent Candy Harper - whose dowdy haircut is given a stylish makeover by Crawford - helps him get guild membership by finding him work experience. She then raises Crawford's profile in Los Angeles by introducing him to a raft of celebrities. Yet again refused a place in the championship, Crawford sets up a meeting with the competition's chief sponsor Senator Warren Crockett who allows Crawford to compete. His entry, an outrageous hairstyle entitled 'Flower of Scotland', wins the first prize. Triumphant, Crawford returns to Glasgow.

Review

Back in 1988 The Big Tease's director Kevin Allen had a bit part in The Strike, a very funny television spoof about a big US studio's attempt to turn the 1984 miners' strike into multiplex fodder. Peter Richardson played Al Pacino playing Arthur Scargill (a kind of industrial action hero), supported by Jennifer Saunders as Meryl Streep as Scargill's wife, making the film within the film a delicious send-up of the very worst that can happen when film-makers fly to foreign shores and make movies in countries they know very little about.

You can't help thinking there was a lesson here for Allen. Unravelling as a mockumentary which follows Glaswegian hairdresser Crawford Mackenzie's attempts to make it big in LA, The Big Tease turn out to be just as crass in its observation of life in California as The Strike's fictionalised producers were of UK labour relations. Admittedly, the stakes aren't as high: what was so funny about The Strike was seeing such a sensitive topic as pit closures turned into shameless schmaltz and thundering cliché. With its hoard of tired and distinctly second-hand jokes about such things as the impossibility of getting appointments in exclusive Beverly Hills salons and the haughtiness of waiters, The Big Tease simply comes across as insipid, lazy satire. Los Angelenos are safe from its biting wit.

Where Allen's film comes into its own is in giving free rein to former stand-up Craig Ferguson's comic talents. Ferguson - who co-wrote the script with Sacha Gervasi - hasn't given himself great material to work with (Crawford's stumbling attempt to define his sexuality, "I prefer women with penises", is one of the film's few funny lines) but his performance is ebullient and likeable. Describing himself as a cross between Liberace and Braveheart, Crawford also encapsulates the film's fond attitude towards a characteristically Scottish brand of kitsch which culminates in his championship entry, a thistle-shaped beehive. Following Twin Town, Allen seems to be making a career for himself playing with and ironising the traditional trappings of Celtic identity - and exploring issues of nationality is no bad thing, of course, even in a light-hearted fish-out-of-water comedy such as this.

But what's so grating here is that it's irony without self-deprecation. Too often the film comes across as smug and self-congratulatory. Crawford's winning haircut, for instance, might be kitsch, but it's meant to be prize-winning, world-beating kitsch. Even a joke about Scottish tight-fistedness allows him to gain the upper hand on Californian avarice.

This builds to a genuinely curious and triumphanlist climax. Crawford is driven through LA in a limo, brandishing a saltire flag which flaps in the wind, the on-looking pedestrians greeting his procession with a roar of approval. 'Like, who cares,' would be a more typical Los Angeleno response, a reaction many UK viewers might have to this unremarkable film.

Credits

Director
Kevin Allen
Producer
Philip Rose
Screenplay
Sacha Gervasi
Craig Ferguson
Director of Photography
Seamus McGarvey
Editor
Chris Peppe
Production Designer
Joseph Hodges
Music
Mark Thomas
©Warner Bros.
Production Companies
Warner Bros. presents a Crawford P. Inc. production in association with
Should Coco Films
Executive Producers
Sacha Gervasi
Craig Ferguson
Kevin Allen
Associate Producers
M. Mark McNair
Cathy Schwartz
Production Associate
Jennifer Wall
Production Supervisor
Sue Jennings
Production Manager
Scotland:
Angela Murray
Unit Production Manager
M. Mark McNair
Location Managers
Adam Silver
Scotland:
Campbell Atkinson
Post-production Supervisor
Eric Bergman
Assistant Directors
Michael Allowitz
Dawn Massaro
Susie Balaban
Scotland:
Amanda Black
Ted Mitchell
Script Supervisors
Sydney Gilner
Scotland:
Lillias MacKenzie
Casting
Kris Nicolau
Associate:
Tracy Johansson
2nd Unit Director of Photography
Hilton Augustus Goring
Camera Operators
Hilton Goring
Additional:
Richard Merryman
Visual Effects
Pacific Title Digital
Special Effects Co-ordinator
Ken Estes
Animatronics
Christopher Fording
Art Directors
Mark A. Thomson
Scotland:
Niki Longmuir
Set Decorator
Cloudia
Costume Designer
Julie Miller-Bennett
Costume Supervisor
Beth Rogers
Make-up
Key:
Roxy D'Alonzo
Artist:
Erwin H. Kupitz
Additional:
Donna Henderson
Justin Henderson
Pamela Santori
Scotland, Artist:
Samantha Print
Key Hairstylist
Jeri Baker
Hairstylists
Brent Alan Winholt
Additional:
Linda Dalbec
Paul Kirkpatrick
Francine Shermaine
Bonnie Walker
Karl Wesson
Main Title Design
Morris Wendorf
Titles/Opticals
Pacific Title/Mirage
Original Score Performed by
The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
Music Supervisors
David Was
Jonathan Weiss
Executive in Charge of Music
Nellee Hooper
Music Scoring Mixers
Paul Golding
James Collins
Soundtrack
"My Boy Lollipop" by Johnny Roberts, Morris Levy, performed by Millie Small; "Supernova Heights" by Craig Campbell, Paul Stacey, performed by Cydonia; "California Dreamin' (Remix)" by Michelle Gilliam, John Phillips, performed by High Jinx, remixed by Dom T; "Out in the Streets" by Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich, performed by Blondie; "Car Wreck" by/performed by Wes Cunningham; "Shoeshine" by Casper Kedros, Darius Kedros, Steve Jones, performed by Headrillaz; "Dreaming" by Bradley Carter, Chris Brown, Katherine Ellis, performed by Ruff Driverz; "Shashkin" (trad), arranged by Omar Faruk Tekbilek; "All over My Face" by Arthur Russell, Steven D'Acquisto, Vincent Montana Jr, Nellee Hooper, performed by Dysfunctional Psychedelic Waltons, contains samples from "You're Just the Right Size" by Vincent Montana Jr, performed by The Salsoul Orchestra and contains samples from "Is It All over My Face" by Arthur Russell, Steven D'Acquisto, performed by Loose Joints; "Waiting for a Break" by Matthew Hardwidge, Phelim Byrne, performed by Day One; "At the River" by Allen D. Cato, T. Findlay, Claire Rothrock, Milton Yakus, Allan Jeffrey, performed by Groove Armada, contains a re-recorded sample from "Old Cape Cod" by Claire Rothrock, Milton Yakus, Allan Jeffrey; "Sway (Remix)" by Pablo Beltran Ruiz, Norman Gimbel, performed by Dean Martin & Julie London, remixed by The Rip-off Artist; "Hurry to Me" by Ennio Morricone, Jack Fishman, performed by Roy Budd; "There Must Be an Angel (Playing with My Heart) (Remix)" by Annie Lennox, Dave Stewart, performed by Fantastic Plastic Machine, remixed by Nellee Hooper; "We Are the Champions" by Freddie Mercury, performed by Queen
Sound Mixers
Kenneth G. McLaughlin
Scotland:
Sandy Fellerman
Sound Recordist
Scotland:
Stuart Wilson
Re-recording Mixers
Ken S. Polk
Wayne Heitman
Supervising Sound Editor
Stephen Hunter Flick
Sound Editors
William Jacobs
Peter Brown
Evan Chen
Supervising Dialogue Editor
Judee Flick
ADR
Mixer:
Troy Porter
Supervising Editor:
Stewart Nelsen
Foley
Walkers:
Kevin Bartnof
Ellen Heuer
Mixer:
Eric Gotthelf
Editor:
Dana Gustafson
Cast
Craig Ferguson
Crawford Mackenzie
Frances Fisher
Candace 'Candy' Harper
Mary McCormack
Monique Geingold
Donal Logue
Eamonn McGarvey
Larry Miller
Dunston Cactus, hotel manager
Charles Napier
Senator Warren Crockett
Michael Paul Chan
Clarence
Sara Gilbert
Gretle Dickens, Candy's receptionist
Ted McGinley
Johnny Darjerling
Nina Siemaszko
Betty Fuego, fun co-ordinator
David Rasche
Stig Ludwigssen
Chris Langham
Martin Samuels, BBC documentarist
Isabella Aitken
Mrs Beasie Mackenzie, Crawford's mother
Kevin Allen
Gareth Trundle
Angela McCluskey
Senga Magoogan
Francine York
elegant woman
David Hasselhoff
Drew Carey
Cathy Lee Crosby
Bruce Jenner
themselves
Melissa Rosenberg
Dianne Abbott
Norm Compton
cop driver
Loren Lazerine
bear suit person
Robert Fisher
bunny suit person
Steven Porter
chicken suit person
Evie Peck
reindeer suit person
Robert Sherman
Constance
Lawrence Young
Dave London
Justin Pierce
skateboard kid
Marcia Wright
Monique's receptionist
Koji Toyoda
Dick Miyake
Kyle Kraska
Bob Flaps
Richard Callen
Frank Wad
William Fisher
TV reporter
Vicki Liddelle
Margaret Sim
Padam Singh
Mr Patel
Robert Maffia
police officer
Evelyn Iocolano
hotel receptionist
Sam Rubin
TV anchor
Veronica Webb
herself
John Paul DeJoria
John Paul Mitchell
Jose Eber
himself
Elois Dejoria
herself, judge 2
Giuseppe Franco
himself, judge 3
Sascha Ferguson
himself, judge 4
Millie Gervasi
herself, judge 5
Kylie Bax
Stig's hair model
Kimora Lee
Dick Miyake's hair model
Contrelle Pinkney
Dave London's hair model
Emily Proctor
young Valhenna woman
Bobbie Bluebell
angry hedge man
Sergio Brie
Ronnie the 'beefeater'
Certificate
15
Distributor
Warner Bros Distributors (UK)
7,763 feet
86 minutes 16 seconds
Dolby digital/Digital DTS sound/SDDS
Colour/Prints by
DeLuxe
Last Updated: 20 Dec 2011